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Secret Agent Man
By James Whittall
My wife's uncle has his secrets. A lieutenant colonel (now retired) at the tail end of the Cold War, he spent the last five years of his career in Heidelberg, "holding back the tides of communism," as he likes to put it.
Press him for details about his tour of duty and he'll talk at length on his golf swing, or the pristine Mercedes he bought for $8000 from an outbound major, or how much he hates German cooking. Ask him, point blank, how he held back the tides of communism and he'll bark, "None o' yer damn business. Pass the potatoes."
A good Cold War soldier, he has this thing for concealment. He once showed me a fountain pen that turns into a pistol — a real pistol that fires real .22 calibre bullets. (As big a fan as I am of James Bond, I almost wet myself when I saw it.) He also owns twenty or so vintage cigarette cases with all sorts of hidden "features" like miniature two-way radios or multiplex knives or opera glasses.
A genuine pride and joy of his collection — I'm not kidding here — is his blemish concealer. It looks exactly like a felt tip marker. You can't buy this product; he made it out of a woman's concealing pencil and an old marker enclosure. But it successfully covers up his frequent pimple eruptions, and it serves his almost compulsive mania with discretion.
As well it should. Today's man doesn't have much trouble talking about skin care. Most guys under 40 are nicely acclimated to the concept, if not the practice, of healthy skin. But mention the "M" word ("makeup"), and every testosterone-charged male runs screaming into the hills.
Not a pretty picture.
The Manly Art of Concealment
Despite our prejudices, there are times — and, believe me, I've had a few myself — when every man wishes he knew more about covering up monster pustules or other beacon-sized skin glitches. Particularly when those times precede a career-boosting sales presentation. Or your wedding. Or any other event in which your only three stress management options are a four-alarm breakout, sweaty pits, or skid marks in your shorts.
If you're one of the fortunate few who simply breaks out, then follow these useful pointers and kiss your badass blemishes goodbye.
- Cleanse, shave, and moisturize your face. Always start with a blank canvas, as it were.
- Be sure to work in an area that offers ample natural light. You want coverage that is undetectable under any lighting condition, not exclusively under fluorescents or bathroom mirror high beams.
- Treat your eyes first. If you have noticeable dark circles or bags under your peepers, apply a few dabs of eye gel to the delicate skin that covers your orbital bone (eye socket area).
- Use your index finger to apply skin tone concealer to blemishes or dark patches on your face and neck. The key here is to blend as evenly as you can. Plop a blob of concealer overtop the blemish, without blending, and you might as well plant a red flag on your zit.
- Once you've finished blending, seal your work with a light dusting of anti-shine powder. Try to stay as close to your natural skin tone as possible. If you plan to be in front of a camera with professional lighting, select a tone that's one and a half shades darker than your skin, and use a heavier application of powder. Dab the powder onto your face with a rounded cosmetics puff (included with the product).
- Now, take a careful look at your face in the mirror. Do you have mismatched areas where untreated skin stands out against the concealer or powder? If so, make the requisite touch-ups and you're ready to conquer your corner of the world.
- Bring the concealer with you. Blemishes, like in-laws, can show up unannounced at the worst possible moment.
Emergency repair products like concealer, powder, and eye gel should be part of every serious professional's toolkit. Properly applied, they can make even the most unsightly facial eruptions less noticeable. And this can often give you the edge you need — especially in front of an audience that puts as much stock in personal appearance as in personal ability.
Copyright ® Menessentials Corporation. All rights reserved.
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